FF: In His Absence
Jul. 16th, 2007 09:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
quaggyTitle: In His Absence
Author: Quaggy
Series: Harry Potter
Rating: PG-13
Category: Angst
Warning: A MAJOR character death. Non-cannon pairings. (I'm not a fan of H/G & R/H.) Do not read if either upsets you.
Notes: Even though I swore I would never write Harry Potter fic, somehow I wound up writing TWO. I was planning on writing a nice fluffy fic about an alternate future from the ones the books seem to be heading towards, but this sad, angsty thing demanded to be written instead. When your muse hits you over the head, it's probably a good idea if you do something about it. I've still been working on the fluffy piece, which hopefully will be posted sometime before Friday. :-) A great big thank you to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
zommbie1 for all your help. (For one thing, Hagrid sounds a whole lot more like Hagrid thanks to you!) Thanks to caz963 , gatsbyfan and edgeriffic for the beta. And, finally, thank you to seri_scribble for the braid idea when I was searching for a "crazy Luna theory."
They feel his absence like a physical weight. For months, the two of them wandered around in a fog, clinging to each other as the only solid things in a world filled with phantoms. They slept side by side. Just slept. Nothing more. But even there, they still missed him. As if he too should be crammed into the narrow bed.
He is their hero. No, not only theirs. He is the hero of the entire wizarding world. He was Voldemort’s final victim, sacrificing his life so that others might live. Ronald Weasley, Martyr. They have dedicated the Quidditch Pitch in his name at Hogwarts. His mother has erected a shrine to him over the fireplace. Oh, if he were only here. He’d swear that everyone was under the influence some sort of confundus charm!
No one questioned it when the three of them went everywhere together, lived in one large flat together, planned their lives together. But they are finding that others no longer think that is acceptable now that the trio has become a duo. People keep suggesting ways to separate them. Perhaps Harry would like to move into the Burrow. Maybe Hermione should spend some time with her parents. They have done their best to ignore such well intentioned intrusions, but it’s not easy.
In some ways, it would have been simpler if it had been one of them that had died in Ron’s place. It’s only natural to think that two blokes, friends since their first day at Hogwarts, would want to room together. And everyone, even Harry, half expected that something would happen between Ron and Hermione. No one would have questioned those pairs. No one would have tried to interfere with either scenario. No one seems to understand that when they are together, a part of Ron still is there. No one can grasp that if Harry and Hermione now lose each other, they will have truly lost everything.
They aren’t comfortable when they’re with the Weasleys anymore. Ron’s absence is far too obvious. Ron had stayed behind at his parents’ behest, leaving Hermione alone to destroy the last horcruxes as Harry confronted Voldemort. They both know that if Ron had been aware that staying behind would have meant his death, he would still have chosen to do so in order to save his family. They find that comforting, but perhaps it’s a torment for the Weasleys.
Surprisingly, it is Hermione who feels the estrangement with the Weasleys more keenly. She had been almost as close to Ginny as she had been to Ron and Harry and now, in losing Ron, she has lost the friendship of his sister as well. Or maybe Ginny, like any other girl Harry had been interested in romantically, didn’t understand how Harry and Hermione could be so close. And, just like all the others, when she forced him to choose, he chose Hermione. But a female confidant is easier to replace than a friend like Ron. Hermione already knew someone who could fill the empty space Ginny had left behind. Luna is flighty, disorganized and totally illogical, Hermione’s complete opposite in so many ways, but she is also a kind, intelligent, accepting soul. Her little house, filled to the roof tiles with the most astonishing number of knickknacks, is as warm and welcoming as Hagrid’s hut. Hermione could never trust anyone the way she trusts Harry or trusted Ron, but Luna comes close. She honestly feels like she could confide anything without Luna judging her.
“Harry dumped my contraceptive potion down the sink at breakfast this morning,” she told Luna without preamble. They were sitting in Luna’s ridiculously cluttered kitchen drinking tea and, until that moment, had been discussing favourite tea blends.
“On purpose?”
“Yes. I was reading the paper and, instead of sitting down across from me, like he usually does, he picked up my flask and dumped it down the drain. And then stared at me like he was daring me to say something.”
“What did you do?”
“I dumped his down the sink too,” Hermione said with a quiet smile. It took Luna one second to catch her meaning. One.
“Oh, I see,” she exclaimed with a wide smile, then pranced from her chair. She climbed onto the counter and removed a tin from on top of the window frame, the contents of which she offered to Hermione.
“Have a globberdoodle. They increase fertility,” Luna confided. Though Hermione had never heard of a globberdoodle nor had any idea what it was made of, she ate one gladly.
Harry too found comfort in a friendship with an old friend from school. Though no one can ever be his best mate the way that Ron was, Harry enjoys being with Neville more than he would have ever believed. Now the herbology professor at Hogwarts, Neville has become comfortable with the person he is and finally realizes that his grandmother’s opinion matters very little. The war had taken a high toll, but he has come out the stronger for it.
“Just think, Harry,” Neville said as they watched the quidditch match. “Someday that might be your child out there.”
“You never know,” Harry laughed. “The kid might take after Hermione.”
“Well, then… ‘Just think, Harry! Someday your child might be sitting next to us as we watch the game,’” Neville parroted.
“The loudest one in the crowd,” Harry added and then grew serious. “I need you to do something for me, Neville.”
“Sure, Harry. Anything. You know that!”
“I’d like you to be my best man.”
“Harry…” Neville trailed off, visibly moved. “I’d be honoured. But… It shouldn’t be me. Ron…” Neville shook his head, unable to continue.
“Of course, it should be you,” smiled Harry. “You’re the only one it could be. If Ron were here with us… well, I doubt I’d be needing a best man.” Neville stared off into space, thinking about the truth of that statement, not even noticing when Gryffindor scored another goal.
Early on Christmas Eve, they marry at the Registry Office. The only people in attendance are Luna, Neville and Hermione’s parents. Harry wonders how they will tell everyone their news at dinner that night, while Hermione worries if they even should. No one is aware that the nature of their relationship has changed. They, themselves, can’t really pinpoint when they became more than the close friends they had been for most of their lives. They had acted like lovers months before they became physically intimate. So if they can’t work it out, how can anyone else be expected to?
“Leave it to Luna,” Neville advises them both. And so they do. Luna, after all, has her own ideas of what is important and has a knack for skilfully introducing a new concept into conversation. Before the meal has even started, she does not disappoint.
“Oh no, Hermione!” Luna cried across the dining table, over the noise and general cheer. “You mustn’t open the Christmas crackers! When you’re pregnant, they cause your ear hair to grow in braids!!”
“Alright, Luna,” Hermione agreed peaceably and set the cracker down again. Suddenly, you could have heard a pin drop. Around the table was an assortment of shocked, disbelieving and horrified expressions.
Harry got to his feet, feeling Hermione join him after a moment. He looked across the room at his dearest friends, wondering why, after all he’s done and all he’s faced, he felt so terrified.
“I guess now’s a good a time as any to make our announcement. Hermione and I were married this morning. We’re expecting a child that will be born sometime in August. We’re very happy about this and hope that everyone else will be as well.”
Throughout Harry’s little speech, Hermione kept her eyes on her hands, unable to face disapproval from those she cared about and worried that, if she even glanced at her husband, she might shatter the calm picture Harry was presenting. Suddenly, she felt the pressure of two large hands on her shoulders. She looked up to see Hagrid’s gentle brown eyes staring down at her.
"Hermione," Hagrid rumbled. "This is all good, bu' don' you go rushin' inta things now. Just make sure this is wha' you want. 'Cause we can always fix it if yer dinna wanna to any more."
“Yes, Hagrid. I want this. I need it.” Hermione assured him and if her smile was slightly watery, it is only because she was so touched by Hagrid’s thoughtfulness.
“We jus’ wan’ yer te be happy. Yer happy, right?”
“Yes, Hagrid. More than I could ever imagine.” And Hermione suddenly realized that this was true. For the first time in years, she is completely happy. Feeling braver, she let herself look at Harry. He was beaming back at her joyously, his face a mirror of her own.
“Well, I’m real glad fer ya then!” Hagrid said with a broad smile. “And, Harry, I think yer need ter let me kiss yer bride!”
Almost immediately after he did so, Remus and Tonks were on their feet to offer their own congratulations. Tonks was so excited, she knocked over her husband’s chair as well as her own. Professor MacGonagall, smiling through her tears, was a little slower to rise to her feet.
“Albus would be so pleased,” she whispered in Harry’s ear as she hugged him tightly.
There was some hesitation from the Weasley end of the table until Mr. Weasley got up to offer his best wishes. Fred and George were right behind him, teasing and laughing and rising to the occasion the way Ron would have wanted them to. Then, Bill and Fleur with baby Ronald (named for the uncle who saved him) were next, followed by Charlie, Percy (quieter and more introspective since his little brother sacrificed his life to save his) and, after a pause, Ginny. Finally, Mrs. Weasley rose to her feet.
“Congratulations, Harry dear. I hope you’ll both be very happy,” Mrs. Weasley whispered tearfully, leaving Hermione and Harry with the awkward feeling that they should apologize or offer condolences.
“Beads,” Luna said suddenly from the end of the table, coming to their rescue once again.
“I beg your pardon, dear?” asked Mrs. Weasley, disarmed.
“I couldn’t remember whether the braids had beads or bows. But I’m practically certain that it’s beads.”
“Well, I’m not going to open a Christmas cracker just so you can satisfy your curiosity,” announced Hermione with a grin.
Love is a marvellous thing. Stronger than time. More powerful than magic. Ron was willing to give his life because he loved his family and in doing so, he helped his friends defeat Lord Voldemort. Harry and Hermione found that their love for each other was the only thing that could comfort them when their sorrow was too great. And now, love has given them happiness in the form of this small child. They both think Ron would be pleased that they’ve started a family. The baby won’t replace him, even if he or she might bear some form of his name. This baby is theirs. A chance to celebrate life and create a future that is totally their own. Proof that no matter how dark things may get, the dawn will always follow.
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If you like this, then . . .
Date: 2007-07-17 02:52 am (UTC)http://ashwinder.sycophanthex.com/viewstory.php?sid=11931
In case you don't have a pass word, I think the rating is such that you should be able to read it anyway.
-Liz
Re: If you like this, then . . .
Date: 2007-07-17 03:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-17 11:47 pm (UTC)Hagrid was an issue. I haven't included him in my fic for a reason ;-)
I love it though. Even though I am a fan of the cannon pairings. I think you write this really well. I like how their feelings change and they don't know it. It just happens.
71 hours 20 minutes to go
*Hugs*
no subject
Date: 2007-07-17 11:56 pm (UTC)And thank you, dearest! That means a lot to me, especially since you do like the cannon a pairings. I really appreciate all your help on this!
no subject
Date: 2009-08-20 03:07 pm (UTC)Very nice ;)
no subject
Date: 2009-08-21 12:59 am (UTC)You never forget the ones that you love, but you just learn how to carry them with you as you move on.