quaggy | FF: Shoe Shopping

Title: Shoe Shopping
Category: "Post-Ep" for Take This Sabbath Day
Disclaimer: I do not own The West Wing or any West Wing characters.
Rating: G
Notes: Sometimes someone can inspire you without saying a word. I was thinking about a proper birthday gift for dawnitella when I remembered that she likes funny, banter fics. Something I haven’t written in months! I didn’t even have one in the works! I bemoaned the fact to beta extrodinaire caz963 who reminded me that I could write a banter fic about anything. Shopping for shoes, for instance. I was about to mock when something funny happened. I got an idea! Remember how Josh promised to buy Donna shoes when he told her she had to work on Saturday? Remember how he found Joey Lucas at her hotel? Well, that hotel looked a lot like the Ritz Carlton at Pentagon City… which happens to be right next to a mall that has a Nordstroms and Macy’s. Great place to buy shoes, don’t you think? The rest wrote itself!

“There you are! What the hell..? Have you tried on every shoe in the place?!”

“You promised me shoes.”

“I did. One pair. Not sixty-seven!”

“Did you find Joey Lucas?”

“Yes. Of course, I did.”

“And how did it go?”

“Smoothly. About the only thing this weekend that did.”

“And whose fault was that?”

“I know, I know. I’ll listen to you from now on whenever you warn me about my ‘sensitive system.’ But can I just say? Fisherman’s waders aside, I wish Sam had just gone out on his damn boat; then the only thing we’d have to worry about Monday morning is another ‘Sam fell in the water’ story.”

“And a ‘Josh was completely trashed’ story.”

“I had such hopes for this weekend.”

“You and me both.”

“So, have you decided on a pair of shoes?”

“Yes. And they’re on sale so you can’t complain about the price.”

“What the hell! Okay, how much are they on sale?”

“That is the sale price.”

“You’re kidding me.”

“No. These are Manolo Blahniks! Do you know how much these shoes normally cost?”

“Apparently more than my first car!”

“You’re paying for quality, Josh.”

“I’m not paying for anything! I can’t. I’m your boss. You know I can’t spend more than twenty dollars on a gift for you! Otherwise it looks like I'm trying to bribe you to do more work."

"You are trying to bribe me."

"Yes, I know. But it can't look like I'm bribing you!"

"Trust me, with twenty dollar shoes, you're not."

“Such is the lot of a lowly government worker.”

“Can’t you say they’re a work-related expense?”

“How are your shoes a work related expense?”

“Because I need them for State Dinners and other such functions.”

“I’m sure Government Oversight Committee would love that explanation.”

“Well, they really should take these things into consideration. It’s not like women can just rent a tux like you guys do. And we have to worry about accessories and colors… Josh! Get back here!”

“Yeah, yeah. Here. Try these on.”

“Josh, these are slippers.”

"Slippers are shoes.”

“Not what I had in mind. These are white, fluffy and rather huge. I can’t exactly wear these to a State Dinner, can I?”

“You can wear them after.”

“What’s the point if nobody can see them?”

“Well, if you really want to, you can wear them to the next State Dinner. You can start a new fashion trend. Look, you’ve already tried every other pair in the place. Just put them on!”

“Okay, okay…”

“Heh. If you could only see your face right now.”

“Oh. My. God.”

“Nice, huh?”

“They’re like walking on pillows!”

“So?”

“You really expect me to give up Manolo Blahniks for a pair of slippers?”

“Well, since you aren’t getting the Manolo Whatzits, I think you should take what you can get.”

“Fine.”

"Look on the bright side. They're only $14. There's enough left over to buy you a cup of coffee!"

"You can get me more than a cup of coffee for $6, Josh!"

"Have you seen how much coffee costs lately?!"

“Just buy me my slippers.”

“Right… So, Joey Lucas wasn't that impressed that I found her.”

"Probably because it’s not that impressive when it’s your assistant who tracked her down."

"Yes, but she should have been impressed with that! I know I was!"

“Well, once I heard she was staying at Pentagon City, I figured you could kill two birds with one stone: see her and get me my shoes at the same time.”

“I should have known that this would come back to footwear. Here. I paid for them. That means you get to carry the bag.”

"Such chivalry. And I did have motivation other than just shoes..."

"What? Purses?"

"No. Joey Lucas needed to know that you aren't normally just some crazy guy in fisherman’s waders. She needed to know who you really are."

"A guy who buys his assistant shoes?"

"No. A charming, charismatic man who has the most brilliant political mind of his generation. She can find out about your sweet side on her own."

“Don't call me sweet, Donna. I've got a reputation to uphold.”

"Says the guy who just bought me slippers."

"And coffee."

"I'm still waiting for that."

"Now you know how I feel!"

“I brought you coffee this morning!”

“Was that coffee? It tasted like shoe polish.”

“It worked, didn’t it?”

“Shut up.”

“Josh? Thanks for the slippers.”

“Thanks for working on your day off.”

“I work for you, remember? It’s my job.”

“Yeah. Thanks for that too.”